I have started my blog thinking I have lots to write about, but then the days start to go by and little things happen and I wonder if I should write about them or are they stupid. Like last night I was watching tv and one of my cats was playing with something. I thought it was a centipede, by the size of it and the way it was shaped (we had a couple at our old house). I yelled at Derek to bring his big skating shoe to kill it. Christopher comes running in to see it and starts laughing cause its actually string.
We really aren't doing much this summer. I take Derek to work, take the kids to the pool, take Hanna to Cheer Texas for tumbling, run around with friends having lunch or some shopping on occasion, sleeping in, trying to stay cool, and after about 4 weeks of having some different health issues going on and wondering if I am ever going to feel normal, that has been my life. I have read different friends blogs to see what I could be writing about. Still I come to a blank on what to write about other than the one thing I still feel I am missing in my life. I read a blog from another friends blog (Keri) and the person wrote about how she got to where she is with her relationship with God. I want more God. Now that may sound funny, but its true. It seems to be that the older I get, and the more stuff I see in the world going on, I find myself craving to have that kind of relationship with him. I guess I do keep him at arms length, so I won't feel let down by him, or not enough Faith. I know without a doubt I have been blessed. I have 3 kids that are great, I have a great husband who works hard to take care of us, we have a nice home that we were recently blessed with, we have cars, food, friends from our old church, slowly making new friendships at the new church, I'm sorry, didn't mean to rattle on, but you get the point. But I have kept him at arms length. Not quite knowing why I have done this. But we are a broken world and we are broken people. Including me. This world can be a scary place. I think that is why I am craving him more. I want that relationship with God that I see others having. They have a peace about them. Even though they have some of the most horrible things happen to them in this life, they get through it and can still be at peace and happy. I am now working on my new journey in this life and including God in all things. I no longer want him at arms length. I want him in my heart in everything.
5 comments:
LaJonna, I am at the point in my life where I can't function without God close. I have lived a life where He is at arm's length and it is hurtful and scary. Now that I make a conscience decision everyday to walk with Jesus I am a much more peaceful (like you said) person. Although I always had Jesus in my life, He wasn't mine. I admire your reflections and being open in your blog. You are an amazing person whom I adore.
First write about your life I love to read it! Second as I wrote to Keri...When God sees us taking even the smallest step in His direction He is right there to meet us. He is running to us! Longing for a relationship with us as much as we want one with Him! You won't be disapointed!
LaJonna,
I so appreciate yout candor and honesty - it is refreshing. You are on the right track. My one and only piece of advice is to give Him a little time every day. Spend time in the word - even if you don't know where to begin! AND I agree with Misty - just write about life. I love reading about that, too:)
I think your blog rocks! Like a big self help book.
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